My Heart on Your Sleeve
by gilmoregossiplover
Summary: Just the history of the heart pin. Contains a section four years in the future.


Nate and his mother had never truly been close. She had always been more interested in hosting parties and going on vacations with her husband than actually getting to know her son. But this fact didn't stop her from picking out all of his clothes and taking him to lunches even when he was fifteen.

Today wasn't really any different. They had gone to lunch at a French restaurant she had just been dying to go to and were now at Tiffany's so she could pick out the anniversary present her husband was going to give her.

Nate was of course bored out of his mind sitting on a chair in the corner. A saleswoman took notice of this and made an attempt to talk to him.

"My name's Melissa", she said with a perfect smile and a slightly condescending voice. "What's yours?"

Nate instantly straightened his posture and wondered why she was speaking to him. He had done his best to keep to himself. Was he in trouble? "Umm.. Nate. I wasn't going to take anything I promise."

Melissa simply laughed and took a seat next to him. "I didn't think you were going to. Are you here with your mother?"

"Yeah, she's over there." Nate responded hesitating.

"I bet you hate being here. How old are you?"

"I'm fifteen."

"I bet you have a girlfriend."

"Yeah I do."

He had been dating Blair for about three years now, but she was still a complete mystery to him. She always wanted to watch old movies and talk about Yale. He felt like he was twice his age and in a stale relationship. She wanted to marry him and have his children when all he really wanted was sex. Why did Blair always have to get home right when things were moving along? But he did kind of like Blair, she was pretty and he knew he wasn't the only boy who thought that about her.

"What's her name?" Melissa asked taking Nate away from his unusually rapid thoughts.

"Blair."

"Do you want to buy her something?"

"Sure." Nate didn't even think about asking his mother, why should he? It's not like money was a problem. Plus he figured this whole thing could be that one little step to Blair finally sleeping with him.

Melissa brought out about five necklaces all nice. "Which one is most like… Oh I forgot her name."

"Blair." They all looked exactly the same to him. He picked up the most expensive one and asked the lady to wrap it up. It was a heart and had a silver chain.

When Anne finally caught up with Nate it was about four. She kissed him on the forehead and Nate thanked God that no one he knew was there.

"Mom, can I go eat dinner at Blair's?"

"Yes you _may_." It was just like his mother to correct his grammar every chance she was given.

"Thanks mom."

* * *

Nate made his way up to Blair's penthouse apartment. When he arrived Dorota was cleaning and smiled when she saw him.

"Miss Blair wasn't expecting you."

"I have a surprise for her. Can you get her?"

"Of course."

Despite Dorota's words, Blair had prepared herself to see her boyfriend that night. She was wearing a Ralph Lauren dress and Steve Madden flats and had styled her hair to perfection. She walked down the stairs skillfully and did her very best to look surprised to see Nathaniel there.

She ran to him and placed her arms around his neck. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Nate said, lying.

"So what do you want to do?" Blair asked and it came across more eager than she had hoped.

"I don't know. But I got you something." He pulled out the blue box from his pocket and noticed her eyes gleam. He was so going to get lucky tonight.

Blair squealed. "What is it?"

"Just open it."

Blair slid the white ribbon off and opened it. She thought the necklace was hideous. The shade of silver was all wrong and it just looked generic. She wasn't entirely sure it this played out on her face though.

It did but Nate was Nate so he didn't notice.

* * *

Blair's solution to the gift was very romantic. She bought him a sweater and had Dorota sew the pendant to the sleeve. It seemed so Victorian. He would have her heart on his sleeve.

And Nate had worn that sweater on more than one occasion even after he slept with Serena and after they broke up in Junior year. He even found that he had packed it when he went to the Hamptons the summer before senior year.

Blair at that time had brought Marcus home from Europe and did her best to convince Chuck that she loved Marcus. But he wasn't buying it. The last possible option was getting the heart pin from Nate.

Blair walked to the Archibald beach house and knocked on the perfectly painted red door. When no one answered she realized the door was open and she let herself in.

"Nate?'

He was in the other room eating a strawberry pop tart when he heard her familiar voice. It was a true surprise and he wasn't sure if he liked surprises. Blair had broken his heart when she slept with Chuck, his best friend for Christ's sake, and he still hadn't forgiven her.

He had two choices- face his ex girlfriend or run out to the garden and pretend he never heard her. He chose the latter but unfortunately she had made her way to the kitchen.

"What are you doing here Blair?"

"It's nice to see you too Nathaniel." Why was he being so rude to _her? _It's not like he didn't sleep with her best friend. They had history, couldn't he have at least been civil?

"You still haven't answered the question." He didn't mean to be so well mean, but to be fair she had ruined his perfectly good snack and ambushed him.

Blair knew this was going to be awkward, but this was on a whole different level. She wanted to turn around and forget about the whole pendant thing.

After a good thirty seconds of silence she feebly responded. "I was wondering if you still had the sweater I gave you."

"The one with the heart?" He had actually just worn it yesterday. He wasn't sure why but it sort of comforted him.

"That's the one. Do you have it with you? I want it back."

"You want your heart back?"

"Don't be melodramatic. We broke up months ago."

"Why would you think I had it? Why would I bring a sweater with me during the summer?" He didn't want to give it back. In some ways he thought he might still love her.

"Never mind then. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Blair stormed out of the room crying. She felt like running all the way back to Europe where at least her two fathers loved her. She convinced herself that she might have too if it wasn't for the Jimmy Choos she was wearing. She stopped only a block away from his house and didn't feel like getting up.

Then she saw Nate. He looked like Apollo or something of that sort and he stopped in front of her with the moss green sweater in his hand.

"Stop being so melodramatic." He said in mocking tone that made her smile. "I'm sorry Blair, look I did have it. Isn't that funny?"

"It's hilarious.", she said wiping the tears that had formed on her face. "Why is this so weird?"

He didn't answer and really it was better that way. He just sat down next her and gave her a little nudge. After an appropriate amount of time she got up.

"I'm having tea at Serena's house. I'll see you tomorrow at the White Party right?"

"I'll be there."

* * *

During their Senior Year reunion, the sweater had found its way back to Nate and Blair had given him back the pin.

But after the breakup the sweater became a reminder of his unrequited love for her, of her choice to pick Chuck. It felt like too much for him the first time he put it on. So to smother his feelings he placed it in a box, literally.

He hadn't looked at the box for about four years. He and Blair had finished Columbia and grown to be friends. She had become his drinking buddy and sometimes tutor. He was pretty sure she didn't love him anymore. She had moved on and was dating a boy named Pete. They seemed happy, but Nate wasn't. He continued to loved Blair throughout his college experience and even had dated girls that reminded him of Blair.

* * *

He was moving to Los Angeles in a couple of days and asked Blair and Pete over to help him box up his stuff. The three of them each took a room of his wing in the townhouse. Blair took the bedroom and was working extremely well while the two men were drinking and had probably each only packed up two boxes.

Nate came strolling in to the closet Blair was in.

"Thanks Blair."

She smelled the beer on his breathe and almost sighed for the sake of nostalgia. She knew Nate would never grow up.

Then from the corner of her eye she saw an orange box and went to open it.

Nate practically tackled her and grabbed the box. He wanted to run and hide it from her but was too drunk to really do anything so he sat on it.

"Really mature, Nate. What's in there?"

"Nothing is in it."

"Then why are you hiding it?"

Her interest has been lifted and she couldn't help but wonder what is in there. She went through her mind and tried to think of how to outsmart him. It really shouldn't be that hard. For lack of better options she tickled him causing Nate to slide off the box.

Because was sober, so she grabbed the box and beat him to a bathroom that she subsequently locked herself in to.

Nate knocked on the door. "Blair, please. I don't want you to see it."

"Pot or playboys? I think I'm going to go with playboys."

But when she opened the box she found neither. It was the sweater that she had given him seven years ago. He kept it and it warmed her heart. Did he still think about her that way? She opened the door and hugged him.

"I'm going to miss you." Blair said and she means it. The smell of his cologne still managed to make her knees weak.

He kissed her forehead and echoed her sentiment.

She heard footsteps coming towards her and stepped away from her high school sweetheart. "What's going on here?", Pete asked and it ruined the whole mood of the incident. Blair suddenly felt guilty.

"Nothing, sweetie", Blair reassured him. "I think it's time to go."

And so she went. She left and she knew the next time she saw Nate things weren't going to be the same. He'd be in California, away from her ,and he wasn't be coming back.


End file.
